Physics Limericks

Condensed Story of Ms Farad
by A. P. French

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.

Wish I Were a Fly on the Wall
by Robert D. Cowan

There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn't it fall
Because its feet stuck
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?

Cole's Lost Soul
by A. P. French

There was a young fellow named Cole
Who ventured too near a black hole.
His dv by dt
Was quite wondrous to see
But now all that's left is his soul.

Goodnight Irene
by Ken Kiger

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

Relatively Good Advice
by Edward H. Green

Dear S': I note with distress
The length of your yardstick is less
And please wind your clock
To make it tick-tock
More briskly. Your faithful friend, S.

First Things First
unknown, but submitted by Edward L. Ruden

There once was a spaceman named Dwight,
Who, it's said, could go faster than light.
He took off one day,
in a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.

The Past Isn't What it Used To Be
by Bruce Elliott

A professor of Physics named May
Complains of the classroom today,
"The problem, you know,
Is that they're too slow.
We were far better students than they."

His friend, a professor named Beecham,
Said "It's true, you don't seem to reach 'em.
But they're not to blame,
For they haven't the same
Class of teachers that we had, to teach 'em!"

by Valerie Lesk

A lady was once on a horse
She rode it with much too much force
Her scalar went vector
The horse tried to protect her,
But the impulse had killed her, of course.

by Valerie Lesk

There once was a witch from Carlisle
Who stirred up her cauldron with style,
Adding mass and momentum,
she couldn't prevent'em
From forming a bright projectile

All limericks (c) The American Physical Society.
Source: Physics Limericks