"Better now than a minute more"

I spend a lot of time nowadays thinking of my future -- my next path in the journey of my education career. I wonder and think of how my life would change barely two months from now, as I will begin to work in another land, formally to be inducted into the corporate world. As formal as I might make it sound, I am really no stranger to the corporate world... I'm just anxious in anticipation and thinking.

Am trying to comprehend, though, why my to-be employer appeared to be more nervous than I was during my interview. I usually have a knack of making people feel comfortable in a conversation. This, to the point where if the speaking party is addressing a small group of people, I can usually 'steal' that person's eye focus to mine alone. I don't know why it happens, but it does. Guys and gals alike. Maybe I project a comfortable, non-judgmental aura; or maybe it's just I appear more attentive to what they're saying, and we like to have people really listening to what we're saying.

On hindsight, looking back at that interview, my answers weren't the most intelligent -- not the best -- but what's important, it got me through their door, so it must not be too bad at all. Now, what I find weird is, in both successful interviews that I've gone through in my life thus far, it's the interviewer that does most of the talking. Generally, I became a listener. In the first interview, the interviewer went on and on, about my future department and job function... and this covered a large part of the interview.

In the more recent second, I asked the interviewer, "So, which department are you from?" (This question was asked in a most polite tone possible, in case it is not obvious in this written form.) And this inquiry, in turn, launched him into a long and detailed overview of the whole company's operations, how they correlate with each other and finally zeroed in to his own department, and what he does. So, I see a pattern here: If you would like the interviewer to do most of the talking for you (which makes the interview process easier but gets pretty awkward at times, I must admit), ask which department he's from. Might not be that good advice, actually, when you think about it, but who cares... it worked for me.

One peeve I have though, is that in the same interview, I was frequently cut off by the interviewer in my replies and he seemed quite disinterested... or was it nervousness? (I can be extremely sensitive to body language and non-verbal cues in a conversation.) Now a large concern of mine is whether he would be a good boss if I decide to finalize my employment. I would rather prefer a good conversationalist, but perhaps I'm being too idealistic.


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If you remember I mentioned before a backstabbing episode that occurred to me sometime ago in my earlier posts? Now that my understanding of politics has increased, I realize the correct terms are slander and poison pen letters, similar to what caused the downfall of some our nation's greatest (political) leaders. Now I am certainly not implying that I'm worthy to even be compared to those great people, but certainly those few people think I am worth the trouble.

Now the problem is, I have difficulty letting go of that episode -- because it happened very unexpectedly for me and in a very very ugly way that it caused me much emotional distress that I was to take a long time to recover. Perhaps, I have not really recovered yet, because every time I bump into that stupid bugger in the campus corridors, I still feel that heavy feeling in my heart... Seeing his arrogance, his smirk as if he's succeeded in removing the perceived threat that I was to him in the society, I feel, at the same time, sorry for him who obviously hasn't seen much of the world yet, except studying for exams.

I have to blog it out here to let it go. Better now than a minute more.

Perhaps writing it out will help me gain closure to this unfortunate chapter. I think it will, and I will go on no longer. At this juncture, I forgive him and all the rest who liberated me from the circle of ignorance; from this ultimately pointless elite society. Also, I forgive the other committee members who chose to keep silent as they watched a teammate die. To quote Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim, I forgive them and I hope they repent.

(And wow, do I feel so much better now.)