Big Jokes Don't Fly

This post, its main objective is to keep this blog alive, since I haven't been blogging much since I discovered the joys of fayshbook. Fayshbook is much more interactive -- you can write a note and tag people, forcing them to read it (hahaha), and the shy ones with nothing to say can just indicate they 'like' your status or photo or music or note or whatever else you post there. Blogs are fast becoming tainted with political stuff. Stuff that make your blood boil with intense hate for our politicians and for people of our own kind, stuff that make you forget to be thankful for the little things that go well with our lives, despite the obvious weaknesses.

Everyone has problems, everyone has troubles. But the ones with the most problems and troubles look beyond them and smile. While we of many blessings, nitpick at the one or two loose threads on our fine shirts.

I still remember when blogging started as a trend in Malaysia, we were all maintaining our little private secret online diaries, just me myself I and whoever else cared to read -- words from our mind, we vent here when no one else listened. For paper is silent, paper is kind and paper is gentle. Paper does not talk back, paper does not interrupt you mid-sentence. And blog was the new kind of paper.

When I think back of my academic life, I have always wanted to prove a point or another, sometime or the other. For example, when I went into university, I wanted to prove it was all a big joke, this education system. This system that says you have to go through a processing factory for a few years, exit a somewhat repackaged, 'safe' product and then only you can start 'living'. And that was the mindset that I harboured throughout the first year of university. That this is all a joke. I felt like an arts student studying science, for my mind was free and unbounded by the limitation of words and man-made boundary, but I soon began to love what I gradually began to understand and find simple...

Then I soon encountered snobbish seniors and arrogant Dean Listers, and I vowed to achieve the Dean's List myself in order to prove it is nothing to be proud of. And soon enough, I achieved it. And then I graduated. The joke was complete. Then in the final year of study, my lecturer said it's hard to get accepted for oversea study. I vowed to prove him wrong on this point; I haven't succeeded.

But looking back now I wonder, I really wonder -- why has my life been about proving people wrong? And when has this what started as a big joke, now has become a love of my life, a long-term relationship?