Reminiscence

I'm living my life catering only to myself, living with myself basically cause I have become so comfortable with it. Now don't misunderstand this statement to mean that I don't socialize. I do a little, which is enough. But at the end of the day I feel so comfortable coming back to solidarity.

"I walk again, unattached to anything
Married to solidarity, its security that I love"
- Unattached, my song

But I feel life is meaningless living on one's own. I would gladly give my life for someone else -- what I mean is to make someone else's life brighter, even if means sacrificing my own. But the problem is no one person is worth living for. The whole world might be worth living for, but this cannot be zeroed on a single person.

All the knowledge I've crammed in, thus far in my academic life, I hope to make use of to brighten someone's life someday. Maybe I can teach someone all I know -- but as I journey on, my forgetful mind lets go of many things.

"And we both know
That we'll all rejoice when the end comes
And the end's come
Now what?
What do I do, with the knowledge I've crammed in?"
- Now What (Is It Over?), my song

On one hand, I try to collect and recollect my thoughts from my past -- on the other, I know I'll feel happier and contented if I let them go.

I'm beginning to realize that all my songs are somehow interconnected, if not by imagery, they are by thought. For that, I'm thankful that I have the ability to string up words to describe my thoughts, and at times I can't be honest and frank in public, at least I am honest and frank in my songs.

Music helped me find myself. It brought me out of suicidal depression years ago. I must never forget.

"To face completion
I will never disappoint
I will never lose my voice
I must try my best repay your love
I must try my best repay your love"
- Leaves, my song