Doing It With Style

"I remember feeling this way before
I knew I'd feel this way once more"
- Feels Like Home, my song

With the exams getting near again, I'm reliving every moment I knew would happen. First, I feel insufficient somehow, like I'm studying not enough or just not working hard enough -- though I know it's not that serious. Secondly, as expected, song ideas come to me at the speed of sound. At times like these when my brain is pressure cooked on overdrive, I can even write verses and choruses while having my meal.

This was written during today's lunch, on the most convenient paper I could find (you don't have to read it though)...


Examinations have long been distorted from their true purpose. You know something is very wrong when a student can ace by memorizing the textbook. You know something is very wrong when the lecturer gives tips on how to ace his paper. You know something is very wrong when all you ever do during lectures is copy from the projector screen, and copy, copy, copy some more.

And to top it all off, you know something is very wrong when these top scorers get fooled by their supposed "success", and start getting all proud and snobbish-y. Granted, not everyone of them are like that -- but I just can't shake off the feeling everytime I talk to any of them, that these are people with cunning minds -- wherein every word they utter has a hidden meaning.

That was the main reason that spurred me to become a top scorer myself. Firstly, in the distorted education system we live in, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Secondly, I vowed to myself that if / when I succeeded, I would remain humble, and remain helpful, and remain as approachable as before. And thirdly, as a side objective, I wanted to prove to my parents that my music enhances, rather than distracts from my studies.

The bar has been replaced. I feel weak. But this weakness just reminds me to be humble. I'd have to do the jump again. Whether I hover above the bar, or knock it to the ground, really doesn't matter. But then, I just hope to clear it -- and do it with style.

"Lord I'm doing all I can
to be a better man"
- Better Man, Robbie Williams