Random Facts about Karljam

1. When Karljam was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Karljam.

2. Karljam does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

3. A high tide means Karljam is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

4. On a high school math test, Karljam put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Karljam solves all his problems with Violence.

5. If you spell Karljam in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

6. When Karljam enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

7. The only time Karljam was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

8. Karljam once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

9. Karljam doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

10. Karljam once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Karljam re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.


(Inspired by Celest's post. Random fact generator.)

Ps... Number 2 is true. So is number 7.