Wax On, Wax Off

On NTV7's Breakfast Show this (Friday) morning, Zaini and Naz were discussing PM Najib's new Cabinet line-up. After they were done they invited people to call in and talk to them. It always gets interesting at this point (I watch this show every morning; well, partially anyways, before I go to work).

The first caller described the new line-up as "new wax on an old car". Zaini and Naz's earpieces must have been burning with instructions from the Producer, for they immediately bolted straight up and started talking very quickly about how we should give the new ministers a chance to prove themselves. Naz asked the caller, "Which is more important: the external appearance of the car, or that the old car is running?" The cornered caller replied, "Of course that the old car is running".

Smiling, Naz repeated his point that the new ministers should be given a chance. The caller relented and ended the call.

They then took on the next caller, a frequent caller by the name of Haji Othman, whose first comment after the pleasantries was: "You know, it's like old wine in a new bottle".

You should have seen the look on Zaini's face!

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On a related note, I personally prefer the anchor combination of Will and Naz, though it's very rare that both of these guys are together. Will Quah is knowledgeable and outspoken, Naz is entertaining and refreshing, whereas Zaini Ahmad likes to interrupt his co-author at every end of the sentence too much and Joanne tends to be too safe/passive (sorry!).

NTV7 if you're reading this, please consider increasing the frequency of a Will-Naz combination, thank you!

Chicken and Duck

CY [3:03 PM]:
..........what's the difference bet. CMOS and VDMOS?
Colleague_A [3:03 PM]:
.......... CMOS included NMOS and PMOS
.......... VDMOS is vertical DMOS
.......... i dun know how to answer ur Q
.......... do i answer ur Q correctly ?
CY [3:05 PM]:
.......... can we say CMOS and VDMOS are the same?
Colleague_A [3:06 PM]:
.......... definitely NO
.......... it's chicken and duck
CY [3:07 PM]:
.......... which one is the chicken?
.......... CMOS = chicken MOS
.......... VDMOS = vertical duck MOS
.......... ok, got it
Colleague_A [3:08 PM]:
.......... sure .....

I am COW!

Stolen from the OXious 5xmom
Song by Arrogant Worms, I am Cow (worm?)

I am cow, hear me moo
I weigh twice as much as you
And I look good on the barbecue
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butters
Made from liquid from my udders
I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo

I am cow, eating grass
Methane gas comes out my ass
And out my muzzle when I belch
Oh, the ozone layer is thinner
From the outcome of my dinner
I am cow, I am cow, Ive got gas

I am cow, here I stand
Far and wide upon this land
And I am living everywhere
From b.c. to newfoundland
You can squeeze my teats by hand
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow!

Dedicated to my fellow oxen friends :)

Alien Anthem

A little ditty to fill the space. As with streaming audio, click pause until it finishes loading (hopefully). And with a lot of hopefulness, it will.

Vote Sewjin's Big Mac Chant!

If you're reading this, please click here and vote for Sewjin's video... the one that looks like the one below:



Why am I doing this? Just because.

But mainly because, being a Penangite, I have a weakness (great fondness?) for the Hokkien dialect. Just hilarious that he calls 'lettuce' and 'cheese', just 'chai' (vegetable) and 'chis' respectively xD

(Aside: I don't eat cow.)

Heck, if people in US could speak Hokkien, they would've found Osama bin Laden by now:

Makes you wonder what people do with their guitars

Was tuning my guitar using this Youtube video...
...when I read the commentary and saw this... (click to enlarge)

Notice the comment with the most thumbs-up? :P

If Singapore sinks...

Was reading Review God when I came across a question by Evolna:

If Singapore sinks, will Malaysia lend a piece of land to us?

(Artist's impression of Singapore sinking)

When you're finished laughing, I must say that it's an interesting question. My opinion? The answer is a simple, "No!" (with a capitalized 'N' and an exclamation mark at the end, to boot!)

Heck, from the looks of it, our Federal Government would be happy if even Penang sinks...

Again... I steal someone's filler post

When you can't think of anything to blog about, go to your email and thank those people who endlessly forward shit to you. your friend's blog and steal her post :P

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A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

****************

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "

LESSON: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
(I'd like to edit that to: Sometimes shit do happen)

****************

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go.
Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief

Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly

Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable

Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred

Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body

Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.


MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".........

****************

George's Answering Machine

The coolest answering machine in the world! A clip from Seinfeld.

Anonymous is Funny!

If there's an award for Best Commentator -- that is, a blog reader who leaves the best comments -- then without doubt that award should go to Anonymous.

Here are some gems from Anonymous, from various places of the blogosphere:

"If you step on people in this life, you're going to come back as a cockroach"
- Anonymous comments here.

"i forgive you and DAP, becoz you're cute"
- Anonymous hits on YB Tony Pua.

But just who is this Anonymous? Click here and find out. (Read at least, the first paragraph.)

Year of the Red (and other stories)

Switching CDs

Currently listening to Avril on the radio with a 'live' version of her song Nobody's Fool. Avril is painful to listen to 'live'. On the other hand, we know Ashlee Simpson can't sing 'live' at all, but her studio CD Autobiography sounds really good. The Avril CD has switched over to her studio songs (it's a bootleg, you must have guessed) and sound so much better, though still nothing quite praiseworthy. Where's my M2M CD?

Note: Now, this M2M Shades of Purple CD is original! A China release which was cheap after conversion... equivalent to RM10 here. On another note, my inability to find (even a bootleg copy of) Marit Larsen's Under the Surface CD until now is frustrating. Oh, Marit. Such a tease you are!

picsource
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Back Pain Philosophy

Treat the person who backstabbed you with respect. Call him by his name and smile to him. Make it even more challenging for him to do what's in his nature. Life is a circle. Every one of our actions will be concluded sooner or later, in its own way. If not in this life, in the next.

(But why do I have to meet so many of this bullsh!t people in my lifetime?)

I wish to end my circle of life. I guess I've lived so many lives before that I've become muak (disgusted) with this business of rebirth and death already. But it's a tall order to achieve, so I guess a more practicable goal would be to strive to make my next life better.

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Year of the Red

Every morning and afternoon on RED FM, they play a short Fengshui tips segment where this guy Kenny Hu from "I'm-not-printing-his-website-here dot com" sprouts common sense and downright nonsensical fengshui tips (in his pseudo-English accent!) like:

"Please take care of yourself when you're on the road, as accidents might happen to you, this year of the Red."

As he finishes, a prerecorded voice proudly proclaims: "RAT... FM!"

It's just a misheard, but it never fails to crack me up!

Computing Pronunciation 101

You know the typesetting program called LaTeX (or more accurately, L^AT_EX)? If you don't, it's ok, just follow me. Well, the correct way to pronounce LaTeX is something like "Lah-tech".

Pronunciation: I usually pronounce it "LAY-tek", though some pronounce it "LAH-tek". In any case, the second syllable is not pronounced "teks". - source

Say: Lah-tech.

Got it? Now, Linux users know LaTeX by a different name. Wanna know what the Linux version is called? teTeX.

Random Facts about Karljam

1. When Karljam was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Karljam.

2. Karljam does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

3. A high tide means Karljam is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

4. On a high school math test, Karljam put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Karljam solves all his problems with Violence.

5. If you spell Karljam in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

6. When Karljam enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

7. The only time Karljam was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

8. Karljam once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

9. Karljam doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

10. Karljam once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Karljam re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.


(Inspired by Celest's post. Random fact generator.)

Ps... Number 2 is true. So is number 7.

The Beerodic Table

Ever heard of the Beerodic Table? Me neither... until now.

Click on the image to read about it.


Makes a great Christmas present for a Chemistry enthusiast, don't you think? Of course, preferably one with a sense of humour ;)

Kermit's Mystery Box / Tribute to Jim Henson

Can you guess what's inside the box?



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I am extending this post to become a humble tribute to the life of Jim Henson, creator and puppeteer of Kermit the Frog.

In the final minutes of the two-and-a-half hour service, six of the core Muppet performers sang, in their characters' voices, a medley of Jim Henson's favorite songs, culminating in a performance of "Just One Person" that began with Richard Hunt singing alone, as Scooter. "As each verse progressed," Henson employee Chris Barry recalled, "each Muppeteer joined in with their own Muppets until the stage was filled with all the Muppet performers and their beloved characters."[27] The funeral was later described by LIFE as "an epic and almost unbearably moving event." The image of a growing number of performers singing "Just One Person" was especially powerful; it was recreated for the 1990 television special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson [video below] and inspired screenwriter Richard Curtis, who attended the London service, to write the growing-orchestra wedding scene of his 2003 film Love Actually. - Wikipedia: Jim Henson

Here's the recreated rendition of "Just One Person" from The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson...

Throw your Panties for Peace!

Read this news article which is a Top Story on Canadian broadcaster CTV's site...

Myanmar embassies receiving 'Panties for Peace'

BANGKOK, Thailand -- Women in several countries have begun sending their panties to Myanmar embassies in a culturally insulting gesture of protest against the recent brutal crackdown there, a campaign supporter said Friday.

"It's an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture,'' said Liz Hilton, who supports an activist group that launched the "Panties for Peace'' drive earlier this week.

The group, Lanna Action for Burma, says the country's superstitious generals, especially junta leader Gen. Than Shwe, also believe that contact with women's underwear saps them of power.

To widespread international condemnation, the military in Myanmar, also known as Burma, crushed mass anti-regime demonstrations recently and continues to hunt down and imprison those who took part.

Hilton said women in Thailand, Australia, Singapore, England and other European countries have started sending or delivering their underwear to Myanmar missions following informal coordination among activist organizations and individuals.

"You can post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today. Send early, send often!'' the Lanna Action for Burma website urges.

"So far we have had no response from Burmese officials,'' Hilton said.

(emphasis added)
- source: CTV Canada

Seems ladies' underwear is to the junta, what Kryptonite is to Superman! xD

You blog like this.

How do you blog when you've got nothing to say but there's a strong urge to say something, due to the lack of anything else to do on the computer and you've completed reading all your favourite blogs?

Now read the title again.

The Simpsons Movie - Spiderpig (by request)

A lot of you have been searching for SPIDERPIG words and arriving at this post. However, I didn't put any words to Spiderpig there, so I'll supply the lyrics here, plus the video to boot!

Spiderpig, spiderpig
Does whatever a spiderpig does
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig
Look out... he is a spiderpig!

Like Watching Paint Dry...

Downloading Linux is such a crawl, my monitor has become home to Spidey...


When I see Spidey Jr., I'll know it's time to hit 'Cancel'.

My Mother's Wit

As I was heading out to lecture this evening,
Mum said to me, "Drive slowly."

"Quickly!" I cheekily retorted.

"Quickly but carefully!" came her fast reply.