Would you help someone who would not help you?
I just received a call from a 'friend', who had proven not to stand up for me in my time of need. For the background story, see here (she was part of the 'crowd') and here (read only the 2nd half). Well, she asks for me to proofread her thesis... and also her friend's (!). On one hand, I think it's a great opportunity for me to do good, as in charity, helping out a friend who needs my help; although I can't really call her a 'friend', hence the inverted commas.
On the other hand, I have been kind to the point of stupidity in the past, and I don't want to feel stupid again. So I want your opinion: In this situation, would you say 'yes' or 'no'? Leave your answer in the comments, thank you. If you have a similar experience to share, I'd appreciate it lots.
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[Edit Thursday 1:17 PM] Thanks to your comments, I've found a solution to this dilemma: I will help them, but at a nominal cost, as Foong suggests... RM 1.50 per page, to be exact. So I become partly a better man, and also partly (a very small part) richer.
By turning it into a business, we effectively take the being-suckered-again and grudge feelings, raised by Can and Celest respectively, out of the question. Both sides are happy with this arrangement, so Dom is right too! How's that for pleasing everybody? ;)
I'll use the money to treat my family to a nice Japanese meal, and the rest to a charity of choice. So my family is happy, and I get a second chance to help others :D
Thank you all, once again.
[Edit Monday, April 28 2:06 PM] The proceeds have been donated to the Pure Lotus Hospice of Compassion.
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11 comments:
I'd probably do it...AND THEN ASK FOR PAYMENT!! MWAHAHAHAH!!
Hey, do you know people pay around USD10 - USD30 per hour for others to proofread their thesis in ang moh countries??
Anyway, the decision is still yours to make. If you want to be a better man, you can help them.
No. Being forgiving doesn't include being suckered again. Take it from me, bro. I've edited and revised so many theses and dissertations, none of those guys (who are now big cheeses in petronas) remember me. Happy job hunting!
can
I usually try not to hold grudges.... but then, if proof reading is too tedious, you may choose not to bother ;).
How's the last few days of being a student? hahahaha.
foong - Thanks for your comment. Ya, I'm aware that proofreading brings much money. But in this case, she's asking for my help. So I either help (for free), or don't do it at all. Doing it and asking for payment would be in bad taste, I believe, in this situation.
I do want to be a better man. It's just that I've allowed myself to be used several times before, and that's why I'm thinking should I say 'no'...
can - I assume you did it for free? If you knew, you would have charged them millions, wouldn't you? :P
Anyway, I don't wish for them to remember me. If I do it, it will just be helping out some people in need.
I've already secured a job, but I appreciate your nice wishes :D
celest - To tell you the truth, I feel bad because I said I've forgiven them. Yet, I find it's so hard to forget the things they did (or rather, did not do)...
Proofreading is natural to me, it's hardly work at all! It's only time I will be sacrificing.
To your question, I'm really excited and looking forward to work-cum-study :)
It all depends on yourself. If you feel like helping would make u happy, then by all means go ahead. If not.. then just forget it.
Thanks Dom! :)
Wow people pay for proofreading thesis? I'm so not in the thesis world. This might be a little late, but if I get payment, I would probably do it. Otherwise, in your god damned dreams you manipulator!
Yes, it can be a great side income. I've been thinking of doing this for a long time, but I don't like to flaunt my credentials, so I never do. It's a Catch-22.
Thanks for your opinion.
No there's nothing to difficult about it. If you don't feel like doing or if you hate feeling like you're being suckered, just don't do it. She's got some guts asking you so you should have the guts to say no. Hey, it's your time and energy she's asking. You think I very free ah!? It's a freaking thesis, not a 2 page essay.
But if you feel like you need to accept so that you could prove that you've forgiven her then go ahead and feel suckered again.
But what you did was right. Everyone is happy now.
No no, I really don't harbour any negative thoughts towards her. By thinking these thoughts, we're only torturing ourselves, so I try not to do it.
Besides, I'm charging her for my time so I think it's all right :)
The proceeds have been donated to the Pure Lotus Hospice of Compassion.
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