Human Touch

Have been feeling very wrong today, somehow. Like something's missing. Like there's something need be done but not yet, perhaps due to my forgetfulness or my misplaced priorities.

Then it just hit me that since exam season started and loomed for previous weeks, I underwent a rigorous self-imposed isolation from the world. I always do this. Somehow it convinces me that I'm dedicating all my time to studying, and it somehow also has a satisfying effect on my conscience.

Now this self-imposed isolation, I realize, has been going on for at least 2 weeks, though my first paper was last Friday. And it's weird that I force myself this torture. My mum has made it clear many times and many exam seasons before that she puts no pressure on my education.

Why then do I pressure myself so much?

And I just realized that since Friday's paper, outside the hall and after the paper when we had lunch together, that I haven't spoken to my pals since. And that makes more or less three four days of nil human interaction, that is, excluding my mother and brother of course. And my dad on the phone.

Now I finally know what's wrong with me. I crave for human interaction. Chatting online doesn't count. Replying to comments on this blog doesn't count. I need to talk to someone.

I feel alone.
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