...but inside this heart is open

The tasks are simple enough, for I have the right attitude. I'm a learner, like a sponge -- eager to absorb anything that comes my way. Those who have tested me would be impressed and smiling at the end. I impress my work supervisor, she shows it and I know it. (But I must watch myself not to be intimidating.)

However, my only source of real happiness is still music. The satisfaction I get from singing, writing songs and improvising them in my head -- I get from nowhere else.

As I now learn to blend into the working world, I learn to smile without feeling. But you can't tell, for to the world I am still smiling. I do this, not to be fake, but to appear friendly to people who might judge me on a passing glance -- I want not to offend someone in this great corporation that I realize is giving me so much compared to what I'm giving them.

Suddenly out of the blue today as I went to chat with my supervisor, the first thing she says was, "You look sad and glum. Are you alright?" And it caught me by surprise because I was not at all feeling that way.

Or was it just my subconscience showing?